Jamie (suesheeme) wrote in lifetimeww,
Jamie
suesheeme
lifetimeww

We have seen the light!

"In the beginning there were calories, and butter and steak were upon the face of the land. And the Lord (tm) said "let there be Lo-Cal". And there was Tab, and Fresca, Sweet n' Low and saccharin. And the people spent money. And it was good.

But the people kept dying of heart disease. "It is the cholesterol." said the Lord (tm). And there was margarine. And eggs were banished from the land.

But the people still got fatter. "It is the fat." said the Lord (tm). And there was pasta, non fat milk, fat-free cheese and Olestra.

But the people kept dying of heart disease. "It's the saturated fats." said the Lord (tm), and the sat fat begat trans fat and new tubs of margarine-like ooze were perpetrated on the masses. And Canola oil flowed throughout the land. And the people spent money. And it was good.

And Lo-Cal begat Sugar-Free and Diet soda begat bottled water, and saccharine begat Nutra-Sweet and aspartame begat Splenda.

But the people kept getting fatter. "It's the carbs", said the Lord (tm)And the Lord (tm) said "Let there be Atkins". And there was beef and lamb, and low-carb everything on the face of the land. And the people spent money. And it was good. Until..."

~Brought to you by the brilliant mind of igferatu
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